How to face the collapse of love when you turn into a stranger? Psychologist teaches you how to be self-reliant "key secrets"

You once thought you had a lifelong love, but one day you suddenly discovered his betrayal. How should you face the collapse of this emotion? In affair, the ones who suffer the most are often those who are in harmony. Lin Cuifen, a professional consultant psychologist, shared in her book "Insight into the hearts of people from affair: Time Creation and Rebuilding Trust". She originally thought she was very happy and originally thought she had met the best partner. However, at the moment when I learned about my affair with me, my past beautiful life and happiness all collapsed. Since dating, I have always believed that my companion loves him very much, and he also said, "I love you very much." But if a person who loves you does something that hurts you so much, how can you believe that his love is real? Such experience not only destroys trust, but also makes people feel deeply suspicious of love. How to rebuild trust in love from such incisiveness is a subject that everyone who has experienced an affair must face.

Affair destroys a beautiful image, how to rebuild a broken self

And the beautiful image of past affair partners in one's mind has also been broken. The husband, who was once a 100% father, has now fallen to the bottom. How to consolidate his "past" and "present" feelings, and how to achieve a wrong physical and mental spirit? None of them are simple physical and mental projects. After a strong impact on the body and psychology, what is disintegrated is not only the longing for a beautiful marriage, but also the confidence, security, and control will disappear, and will begin to doubt yourself and not believe in your judgment. I feel that I am out of control, and I will constantly want to find someone to cry, and I will always ask for a partner: "For Why do you want to do this to me, why do you hurt me even if you know I'm going to be in pain. ”

{999 9} How to rekindle the loss of hope? Repairing the relationship requires the efforts of both parties

Many parties will tell me: "Psychologist, I was not like this before. I was very independent, I loved laughing. I am full of hope for everything, but now I can't raise anything." Therefore, the first thing to do when inflicting an affair is to ignite a "sense of hope". I believe that all kinds of painful situations are possible to adjust. Many clients will ask me: "In your consultant case, can someone really repair the relationship and return to a good relationship?" My answer is yes. Of course, this requires the joint efforts of both parties and help each other overcome various psychological difficulties in order to gradually repair the secret relationship. Some clients can still rebuild relationships that are more equal and respectful than before.

Repression and dislike the other party, betray oneself and betray oneself in the future, and the rebellion will be even greater.

Many people in the early stages of an affair, because they are too afraid of losing the other party, the injured will beg the other party to stay, or suppress the anger and dislike the other party, or distort what they do not want to do, or sacrifice their respect to save the relationship. If you betray your own will, your future love may be very strong. Why can't you leave after you are angry, why do you still have to maintain a broken marriage, and why do you have to put your respect on the other party? When an affair just happens, although the injured person needs the support and company of his friends, he will fall into confusion and hesitation in his heart. After he says it, what will others look at him? Will friends be spread out? Will your own experience become a question after someone else’s tea?

Protecting reputation or revealing the truth. Learning to love yourself is the key

Even if the affair hurts him so deeply, he still wants to protect his reputation. After a few blows, he still chooses not to tell his parents and children of both parties. However, there is another voice in his heart: I want everyone to know his true face of betraying his relatives and constantly speaking. In the long run, when pulling between the two sides, it will really consume a lot of psychological energy. Many injured people suffer the pain of betrayal and want to pass by it with their own strength, but the reason they finally chose to come to consult is that they need to speak loudly and need someone to accompany them to discuss and discuss. How to go in the future is the direction they want? For my family to work hard for as long as possible and ignore their needs for too long. When the focus of life is to return to myself, many people in charge will react to me: "I don't know how to love myself?" Therefore, the injured person re-understanding and caring for himself is an important key to inducing emotional betrayal and causing injuries.

This article records: "Insight into the heart from an affair: Time-to-life insult and rebuilding trust"

. A happy marriage makes it easier for men to have sex than women! Belgian two-sex experts: We misunderstand the affair, far more

than we imagined. The truth about the cool marriage wrapped in icing in "Queen": Why do the person you love doesn't love after getting married?

. After the marriage, my wife made silent efforts and changed her husband's affairs to find a mistress! Experts' reasons for marriage

Editor: Chen Yaomei